Wedding Information & Guidelines

The Sacrament of Marriage in the Orthodox Church sanctifies the union of a man and a woman who are brought into a communion of love for mutual companionship and fulfillment. This blessed union is not expressed through vows, but through a shared and committed relationship with the Risen Christ. "The first purpose of marriage is to train Christians in humble love which is a shadow of the selfless love that God destined us to have for Him" (Elder Zacharias of Essex). Therefore, the couple, the clergy, and the laity pray that this Christian marriage be sanctified and preserved by God in the image of Christ's perfect union to the Church.

The theology of this sacrament is beautifully illustrated in a medallion from a Byzantine marriage belt dating back to the sixth century. Christ stands between the bride and groom, on this medallion, joining their hands in marriage, as they gaze fondly at each other. Above their heads are two small crosses with the inscription: "From God, concord, grace, and health." This medallion illustrates that the Sacrament of Marriage is sealed by the Lord with a love that ultimately comes from His splendor.

The Orthodox Church has for centuries celebrated the Rite of Marriage very much like we witness today. Time has honored and preserved this service that is sanctified by Christ in the New Testament, yet finds its roots in the Old Testament. Thus, every act that we witness in the mystery of marriage is rich in symbolism and meaning.

The Marriage Rite of the Orthodox Church consists of two independent and self-contained rites which have been linked and celebrated together since the tenth century. The rites reflect the two-stage process of marriage: the Betrothal and the Crowning ceremonies.

Requirements Prior to the Wedding for Couples

  • The Sacrament of Marriage presupposes that a couple will be dedicating their lives and the lives of their children to Christ. Therefore, couples should be active and participatory in the sacramental life and ministry of the Church and to be current in stewardship. If a couple has not been active in the life of the Church, then demonstration of a sincere desire through active participation will be expected before a wedding can be scheduled.

    • If Ascension is not your home parish, then a letter of good standing from your parish priest is required.

  • • Actively attending the divine services on Sundays.

    • Regular participation in the Sacramental Life of the Church.

    • Participatory in the ministry of the church.

    • A Stewardship Form needs to be completed for the current year.

    • If Ascension is not your home parish, then a letter of good standing from your parish priest is required.

    • If you were raised at Ascension but now live out of the region, and do not actively attend Ascension, then by-rights, you should establish a relationship with your local parish.

  • At the Greek Orthodox Cathedral of the Ascension we offer three premarital counseling sessions. The first is a meeting with Fr. Nick, typically over a meal so that we can get to know one another better, in the second meeting we discuss the symbolism of the Sacrament of Marriage and the Orthodox theology of marriage, and in the final session we review the premarital assessment.

    Fr. Nick also highly encourages couples to participate in the 8 Dates Online Workshops offered by the Metropolis of San Francisco Family Wellness Ministry. You can learn more about 8 Dates Online Workshops here on the Family Wellness Ministry Website.

  • After the first consultation with the priest you will apply for the ecclesial license to marry. The following items are required to complete the application to be married in the Church.

    • Baptismal certificates/dates for the Bride and the Groom.

    • If the Bride or Groom was previously married in a civil service, a copy of the civil divorce must be presented.

    • If the Bride and Groom are already civilly married, a copy of the Certificate of Marriage must be presented.

    • If the Bride or Groom was married before in the Orthodox Church, they must present the original ecclesial divorce certificate.

    • Parishioner in good standing letter, if he/she is from another Orthodox parish, attesting to eligibility for marriage.

    • Baptismal confirmation letter, if he/she is from a non-Orthodox Christian parish, confirming his/her baptism in the Holy Trinity and attesting to eligibility for marriage

  • The Greek Orthodox Cathedral of the Ascension has been blessed to have deep and abiding connections with our neighboring Eritrean Orthodox Churches. In fact, many Eritreans now call Ascension Cathedral their spiritual home.

    Unfortunately, the Greek Orthodox Church and Eastern Orthodox Churches are not in communion with Non-Chalcedonian Oriental Orthodox Churches (Coptic, Armenian, Eritrean, Ethiopian and Malankara Churches). This can cause some confusion amongst the Faithful when scheduling sacraments. Please note that sponsors must be Eastern Orthodox in order to serve as sponsors for a wedding.

“In our living together we are one another’s hands, ears, and feet. Marriage redoubles our strength, rejoices our friends, causes grief to our enemies. A common concern makes trials bearable. Common joys are all the happier, and accord makes riches more pleasant: it is even more delightful than riches for those without wealth. Marriage is the key of moderation and the harmony of the desires, the seal of a deep friendship, . . . the unique drink from a fountain enclosed, inaccessible to those without. United in the flesh, one in spirit, they urge each other on by the goad of their mutual love. For marriage does not remove from God, but brings all the closer to Him, for it is God Himself who draws us to it.”
— St. Gregory the Theologian

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Do not schedule your wedding or reception without first speaking with Fr. Nick. Generally speaking the Sacrament of Marriage is only offered on Saturdays and Sundays.

    Out of respect for the liturgical season and life the Church there are seasons when some sacrament are not permitted.

    Weddings may not be performed from Christmas Day through the Feast of Theophany (December 25 - January 6), during Holy Week, or on any of the Great Feast Days of the Lord:

    September 8 - The Nativity of the Theotokos

    September 14th - The Exaltation of the Holy Cross

    November 21st - The Entrance of the Theotokos

    December 13 - 25

    December 24th - The Nativity of Christ

    January 6 - Theophany

    February 2nd - The Presentation of our Lord in the Temple

    Great Lent and Holy Week

    March, 25th - The Annunciation of the Theotokos

    The Ascension of Our Lord and Savior (Moveable Date fixed on celebration of Pascha)

    Sunday of Pentecost (Moveable Date fixed on celebration of Pascha)

    August 1 - 15th

    August 6 - The Transfiguration of our Lord and Savior

    August 15th - The Dormition of the Theotokos

  • The Sacrament of Marriage is a Christian institution blessed by Christ our God. Therefore marriages can only be solemnized between a Christian bride and groom.

    If one's future spouse is interested in being received into the Orthodox Church, then they will need to complete a course of study in the Faith. These courses are 14 weeks long and are offered beginning in September or January. One must be planning at least a year in advance for their wedding in order to complete this process of formation. This process cannot, under any circumstances, be expedited. One's formation in the Church is a necessarily lengthy process, as one develops an understanding of the Life in Christ.

    If one's future spouse will not be received into the Church prior to the Sacrament of Marriage, then they must be a Christian and provide documentation verifying their baptism from their church. Marriage is a Christian institution. The couple must express a commitment to baptizing and raising their future children, God-willing, in the Orthodox Church.

  • As in the Baptism, the Sacrament of Marriage also necessitates a spiritual guide and mentor in the form of a sponsor (koumbaro/a/oi).

    The Church requires that the sponsor be an Orthodox Christian in good standing; there are no exceptions to this rule. The priest can help couples in the selection of godparents if needed.

  • • Must be an Orthodox Christian

    • A registered Steward of an Orthodox Parish.

    • If married, must be in an Orthodox Church.

    • If married in the Orthodox Church and are now divorced, they need to obtain an Ecclesiastical Divorce Decree.

    • By-rights a godparent should be someone not be a family member. By choosing a sponsor, one grows their family, as that new relationship becomes blessed by the Church.

    • A parishioner may serve as a sponsor in another Orthodox Christian parish by presenting a letter of good standing from his or her home Parish Priest.

    • During the service the sponsor is responsible for exchanging the rings and crowns.

    • Two wedding rings

    • The Crowns or Stefana (typically provided by the sponsor/koumaro(a)

    • Two decorated candles (typically provided by the sponsor/koumaro(a)

    • A wedding tray filled with koufeta (jordan almonds)

  • The Orthodox Church is a sacred and dignified space which has been reserved for the sacramental life of the Faithful and fitting worship to God. Therefore, it is not customary for secular music to be played in the Orthodox Church or for instruments to played.

    The processional and recessional are typically offered by the chanter or an organist, if available.

  • Floral Arrangements and decorations in the Cathedral must be approved by the clergy.

Resources for Couples in Preparation for Marriage

Our Faith has many wonderful resources to offer to help couples prepare for marriage prayerfully and thoughtfully. The Metropolis of San Francisco Family Wellness Ministry is a great resource for couples preparing for marriage and those who are married. In particular, engaged couples should check the “Eight Dates” Program which is offered annually.

The Order of the Sacrament of Marriage

  • The service of betrothal precedes the service of crowning.  The theme of this service is faithfulness which is expressed in the symbolism of the rings.  The exchange of rings is understood not simply as a pledge of mutual faithfulness, but as a sign of God's pledge to man.   Through the rings, as illustrated throughout the Old and New Testaments, God Himself pledges His blessing, support, and promise to grant them a new integrated and wholesome life.  It is also significant to note that the ring is worn on the right hand since our Biblical tradition suggests that it is the right hand of God that blesses; it is to the right hand of the Father that Christ ascended; it is to the right that those who inherit the Kingdom of God will go.

    This service is comprised of three main components: petitions, prayers and the exchange of rings.  The service is initiated by the priest(s) chanting the litany which includes petitions for the bridal couple.  Two short prayers are then read that associate marriage with the saving work of Christ, who restores the unity between God and man.  At the conclusion of these prayers, the celebrant blesses two gold rings, then taking the groom's ring touches his forehead, saying "The Servant of God is betrothed to the Handmaiden of God  [as he touches her forehead] in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."  The priest then betroths the bride to the groom in a like manner.  While a final prayer is being read by the celebrant, the Koumbaro/a (sponsor) interchanges the couple's rings three times as an expression and witness of the two lives being entwined into one.

  • The Service of Crowning is the wedding proper.  It begins with the chanting of psalm 128  and comprised of five major elements:  1) the prayers; 2) the crowning; 3) the Scripture readings; 4) the Lord's Prayer and the common cup and; 5) the Dance of Isaiah.  The Sacrament of Crowning is initiated by the chief celebrant lifting the Holy Gospel and invoking the Holy Trinity, "Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit..."

  • After the petitions of the Litany are chanted by the clergy to the response, "Kyrie Eleision" or "Lord have mercy", three prayers are read.  The many biblical personalities and episodes alluded to in the prayers affirm the truth that God remains faithful to His people in spite of all historical vicissitudes and human sins, as long as the couple has faith in God.  The prayers ask God to place this bride and this groom into the company of these holy couples and to "bless them...preserve them... and remember them."  In the third prayer, the right hands of the bride and groom are joined as the priest reads: "Join together this your servant, and your handmaid,...in oneness of mind."  


  • The celebrant takes the crowns, blesses them over the Gospel, signs the couple three times with the Liturgical formula: "the Servant of God [groom's name] is crowned for the Handmaiden of God [bride's name] in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit" and then crowns them chanting "Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor."  The koumbaro then exchanges the crowns three times.  The crowns remain on the heads of the couple until the close of the service.    

    The crowns that are placed on their heads remind the couple of the condition that makes their marriage a Christian marriage.  This condition is the acceptance of the Gospel of Christ, the bearing of His cross in order to participate in His victory, and the entry into His Kingdom in order to share in eternal life.  They are crowned together with the martyrs and saints as champions of the faith by Christ Himself.  

  • The writings of both St. Paul to the Ephesians 5:20-33 and St. John the Evangelist 2:1-12 are the two most revealing sections of the New Testament relative to the Sacrament of marriage.  The first reading relates marriage to the Mystery of Christ and the Church, while the second details the presence of Jesus at the marriage in Cana of Galilee.  These readings reveal that the couples relationship should be predicated on sacrifice and love as marriage has been sanctified by Christ.

  • Together with the Scripture readings, the reciting of the Lord's Prayer and the partaking of a common cup remind us that the marriage service was conceived as a Eucharistic liturgy.  The communion hymn, "From the cup of salvation will I partake; And upon the Name of the Lord will I call."  further emphasize the services' Eucharistic origins.  The red wine that is now shared instead of the Eucharist, symbolizes the cup of life that the husband and wife will drink: bitterness with sweetness,  disappointment with happiness, and tribulation with joy.

  • In this procession the priest, holding the Gospel, leads the bride and groom around the table three times.  The couple is accompanied by their koumbari (sponsors) who will walk with them throughout the joys and sorrows of life.  This liturgical action is significant as it initiates their steps together as husband and wife, always following the teachings of Christ.  This present ritual is abbreviated from an older and more elaborate practice of the priest leading the couple to their home.

    The hymns chanted also express the meaning and the inherent beauty of this procession. The troparia summarize the entire Biblical content of the Christian marriage, that is, to be a witness to the coming of the Kingdom of God, inaugurated by the birth of the Son of God from a Virgin.  The hymnography inspires the couple to walk in the way of righteousness and to keep Christ at the center of their relationship throughout their lives.

    Following the Dance of Isaiah the crowns are removed by the priest who says prays: "Receive their crowns in Your Kingdom unsoiled and undefiled and preserve them without offense to the ages of ages." The Sacrament of Matrimony then concludes with this final prayer for the newly married couple:

    "May the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the All-Holy, Consubstantial, and Life-creating Trinity, the One Godhead and Kingdom; bless you and grant you long life, well-favored children, progress in life and in faith; enrich you with all the good things of the earth, and make you worthy to enjoy the promised blessings; through the intercessions of the holy Theotokos and of all the Saints.   Amen."